almost

there!

Third Week

well, i am Already at the latter part. Am I getting tired? quite yes because of some issue that keeps on “embracing” me every now and then. Is there anything I can do? Yes, just look forward and hope to succeed.

August 20,2018: discrimination at first hand

Let us start the day when I am already at the office. I will not be teaching today since I need to prepare for teacher Potjanat’s evaluation tomorrow. So, I was there at my table when a student gave me a notebook. I was so happy and thanked her. I know that today, there will be something to happen and worth writing it on the notebook. I was right.

It was past 8:00 A.M. and all the faculty members in the office went to their class already. I was alone there when the door opened and came a black woman accompanied by two local people, that’s what I thought. I greeted them the moment they entered and made a curious face. The local woman told me that the foreigner will be teaching here. The moment she spoke in English, I already knew that she is a fellow Filipina. But I was not able to ask her since they left immediately. I think they were in a hurry. So it was only foreign person and I. of course, I was the one who initiated a conversation. I asked her name and I gave mine. She is Ris, a Kenyan. I told her if she wanted some water in which she said yes. I also bought bread for her because she said she did not have any breakfast.

I told her that she just wait for a few minutes since the Head of the Program is in class. While waiting, some students came in and I was able to see their shocked faces. I was disheartened. They went to an area near the bathroom and started laughing. Although I am not sure if they are laughing at her or they are laughing for wearing the costumes (they will be in a skit). But either way, I felt down. I can see Ris trying to maintain her composure when more students entered and made the same face as those who came in earlier. It was very awkward. But I was glad when some students approached and talked to her, asking her name. I let out a sigh of relief.

Not more than a half an hour when faculty members started coming to the office. Some greeted Ris while others did otherwise. She was just there, sitting nervously. Then my mentor came and they discussed things with each other. I am not sure what the discussion was. Then my mentor told her to sit in the table next to me. There were loads of books on her table and she was given instructions regarding it. She was given schedules and that for her first subject in the afternoon, teacher Warapon will be there to assist her. While she is on her table, teacher Fern told me that we would be having lunch. So I left her there.

Let us skip some details and let us proceed at 2:00 P.M. where Ris was done with her first class. I asked her how the class was. She told me that she cannot teach these kind of students. They are noisy. They are loud. And then there’s language barriers.

When it was only Ris and I at the office, she told me her stories. For two months, she had been literally straying around Thailand. She said that she had a feeling that she was being cheated on by her agent. She came here Thailand for a job but most companies said that “there is no job for black people here”. My heart started getting heavy. She had been from many places, provinces, and districts to find any job but to no avail. Her family had already been contacting her, telling her that she is just wasting time and money in Thailand.

The big problem is her visa which is going to expire on September 19. Which means that she needs to find a school that would give her documents. If this Wieng Sa School, cannot help her, then she will be out the next day to find another school. I asked her if she already relayed this concern of hers to the Head. She did not. I then told her that she needs to tell it fast because they will be busy this week.

Then it was 3:00 P.M. I escorted her to the next class since no one will accompany her. It was in the third floor. I was ahead of her while she was trailing behind me. It would have been a simple task if it was not for the students’ reaction. I do not blame them for such doings because they are still children, not exposed to the vastness of the world’s culture. Some of them were laughing, running away, silent, and other stuff (May it be inappropriate or otherwise). My heart sank. Imagine a hallway of students looking at you, laughing and shocked. I had my eyes closed while walking, literally.

There was such sorrow happening. I always check that Ris is just 2 feet away from me. I cannot even look at her. I felt pity for her. And the room was like miles and miles away that I just want us to be at the designated room. When we were in front of the room, I asked the students to confirm if this is the class. They answered yes. I did not have any encounter with this class so I was not sure. After a couple of minutes, the teacher of the class told us that we will just wait for 20 minutes. After that, Ris will be teaching. Then I left her with the teacher.

It was around 4:00 P.M. when she came into the office. I asked her how the class was. “It’s okay”, she said. And she went back to reading the books. After a couple of minutes, she told me, “I am not coming back here.” Was I surprised? Not really. The teachers here in school often say that foreigners come and go. I guess Ris was one of them. Anyhow, she only told that to me. My mentor told her that she will be staying at the school’s accommodation. The same place here teacher Mike is staying at. He will be escorting Ris to her place. Ten minutes had passed and they went out of the office. That was the last time I saw her.

Back at home, I was with Fancy for his daily practice. For now, I did not help the students with their assignment. Not much had happened. I just taught him how to pronounce some words. Also, he was able to finally choose the song that he will be performing, One Call Away by Charlie Puth.

Also, my mentor told me that teacher Potjanat cannot come for tomorrow's observation. The latter will be updating my mentor as to the possible day he will be coming next week, although it is not certain if we will still come or otherwise.

August 21,2018: IMPLORING DIFFERENCES

Being a language teacher requires the skill and proficiency in it. Nonetheless, eloquence is not much required when students are just beginners in trying to acquire the target language. Because today, I was able to draw from my teaching experiences that language fluency is not much of an important skill inside the classroom, but acting is.

My day at school began in first class of the day at 10:10 A.M. The topic is about “Can You Help Me?” I started discussing the topic to my students. Since it is about helping, I gave some situations to my students in which one is in need of help. The problem was that they were still having trouble comprehending the idea itself. I thought of using Google Translate but that might consume much of my time. Since there is no perfect strategy and technique in teaching, a teacher must learn to use a method that would engage all the students regardless of their differences. Thinking of this principle, I did something that would make my students understand what I am relaying—exaggerated acting.

I was asking them, “You were carrying a heavy bag. You saw friend of yours just across the street. What would you ask him?” Unfortunately, I was only able to elicit confused faces. Again, exaggerated acting. I acted as if I am carrying a heavy bag and that I am tired. I looked at one of the student and said, “Will you help me?” I was expecting for an answer for that matter but what I got was, “Ohhhhhhh.” Well, at least they understood the situation. The process was like that for probably about 60% of the whole period. Was I tired? Actually, no. I was very happy.

My second period was at 3:00 P.M. This time, the topic is “Accidents Happen!” Before the class, I searched the internet for funny photos and short clip regarding accidents. I need something that would motivate them for class since it was the last period. When looking for an activity to motivate them, the activity should not just be out of the topic. The motivation or warm-up activity should be related to the main topic. It can be used as a springboard for the discussion. Students will also be having prior information as to what the topic might be.

I went to the class with my laptop with me since the monitor in the classroom is not working. Before we went to the discussion, I showed them the pictures. There were pictures of a car being stuck on a tree, a boy who was slammed in a bathroom, and other more. Thankfully, I heard laughter. “What do you think happened here?” Some gave their funny response while others just listened to their classmates’ answers. There are some that cannot express their answers so I have them draw it on the board. There were laughter in the classroom. Then it was time. We each gave our “good byes” and headed back to the office.

Alright, this time, I want to cater the individual differences of each learner. In all learning environments, individuals interact with others who are in some ways different from them. One factor was the socioeconomic status. My mentor told me that most students enrolled in the school are from rich families. According to some studies, it shows that students from rich families excel in education compared to those of lesser fortunes. It is for the reason that the former have better and more appliances and resources that can aide them in their studies. When I went to join in home visits, I observed that most of the students’ homes are filled with technologies. These materials can be a boon in their educational journeys.

Another factor that bring about student diversity is the thinking/learning style. I was able to observe that some students learn better by seeing visual aids. Others prefer to listen audio files while some wanted to stand up and do activities. I really do have to attend to the needs of these students. I have to balance the teaching methods and techniques. It was a good thing that I also use pictures and initiate games in the classroom. I do not want the class to be bored by texts only from the book nor be acquainted by a single teaching activity that does not involve the multiple intelligence of the students.

Obviously, I was challenged to handle the class with students so diverse. I have students who have different cultural background, different language abilities, different attitudes and aptitude and behaviors. Actually, I see this diversity as a difficult predicament, really a hassle! Yet, as a more reflective teacher, I see these kind of diverse classrooms as an exciting place to learn not just for my students, but for myself. A wise teacher may choose to respect and celebrate diversity!

4:30 P.M. I was at my place as well as some students. Again, I need to help them do their assignments. I changed my clothes and went at their table. I looked at their task. It was Math. Since I have to help them, it took me quite an amount of time before figuring it out. It regards Exponents. I know that this would not be too hard for me, I thought. But to make sure that I will be giving correct and informative answers, I chatted a friend of mine and sought for help. Fortunately, she gave me the answers immediately. I thanked her for her kind gesture and told her that I owe her a meal. After having the answers, I was able to figure out the solution or the step by step process. Simply giving them the answers was not okay. I tried explaining it to them but they were having a difficult time trying to understand it. Also, they were not listening. Tired, I just gave them the answer along with the solution of it and kept quiet. I am not sure if they are aware that I am kind of disappointed at them. But anyway, at least they gave me warm “Thank you, teacher.” And that’s enough for me to cope with the day’s tasks.

August 22,2018: ACHIEVEMENTS OVER REGRETS

Again, I had an early breakfast at school today. I really love the dishes they serve there. Although there is a resemblance from Philippine dishes, there is that distinct Thai taste that I cannot still able to point out. Either way, it was undeniably delicious. Either way, I know that I will be encountering difficulties today, as always. But it is absolutely alright, because it means that there will be a lot of things I am going to learn.

While heading back to the office, a student approached me and gave me something. “Teacher, this is for you,” she said. She was the same girl who gave me the notebook. I gave my sincere gratitude. I asked her name and replied “Jiji”. She asked me if I am going to teach in her class, I said yes. I took a picture of her (with permission). Then she said her good bye and went ahead to her class.

My first class of the day was in Room 333, the 8:10 A.M. class. The discussion was on grammar regarding past progressive. At first, I doubted the capability of my students to grasp the topic. So before the lesson proper, I asked them to write a gerund—a verb ending in –ing. I instructed them to write their answers on the board. Well, they were able to give good examples. The following events regards the students writing a complete sentence following the prescribed structure of the sentence. For this kind of students, learning must be systematic especially on technical lessons such as grammar. Our topic, or others concerning grammar, should not be taught generally or else the students will be confused as to the derivation of the sentences.

Grammar can be a complicated aspect in language. Although others are implying that grammar is not necessary in communication, it actually is. Misunderstanding of the ideas will arise when grammar is not used correctly. The simple “from”, “to, “for” can already cause confusion in conversations when used incorrectly. This is why I want my students to learn and focus on grammar. Their grammatical competence will further aid them in developing their communicative skills. It is important to take note that each of us should be able to focus on grammar lessons every now and then.

Another insight of mine is that, the students should not be rushed to go in front to answer. They need time in trying to comprehend the questions first. At times, it is okay. But there were also some situation in which time is of the essence because there will be some other discussions and such. But anyway, the students were able to cooperate well. Since the students are not that capable of interpreting the given pieces of information, I made my students my own resources for the topic’s examples. This way, they will be able to relate to the discussion because their own thoughts are being used in the lesson.

The second class was just the second period. This is the class where Jiji is in. They are the Grade 12 students. As I entered the room, I looked at her and smiled. “Good morning, everyone,” I said. The sad thing about this class was that they might probably be my least favorite one. I am not being judgmental but it is true. They greeted with a groggy “Good morning, teacher.” But as a dignified soon-to-be-educator, I need to maintain my composure. I do not want to ruin anyone’s morning, especially mine. Before I started the topic, I let them watch a certain video. The lesson for that day was “Achievements and Regrets”. The first video was entitled “The Mother With One Eye” while the other one is a Thai video commercial by an insurance company. I hoped that these videos can at least motivate the students and for them to grasp the gist of the topic.

Although it regards achievements and regrets, I wanted them to focus more on regrets. I know that in class, a teacher must still tend to the psychological and affect aspect of his/her students. Moral values are still needed to be embedded in some contents or subject matter being taught to class. It is through this that students can develop morality and values in them.

So back to the classroom situation. After having the students watch the two videos, I was able to saw some of them with a teary eye and sad face. It worked, I thought. But again, the motivation should be used as a springboard of the topic. I asked questions regarding the videos. “How did you feel?” Unfortunately, some students were not able to comprehend the question. To be brutally honest, these were grade 12 students so I thought that they can do better than the lower years. Unfortunately, my students in the lower level have better English comprehension that the students I am facing right now. That is why I enjoy teaching the lower grades. They are more energetic and eccentric unlike the class I am facing right now.

Google Translate was now the method of our communication. And of course, exaggerated acting. For them to be more physically involved in the discussion, I asked some of them to come in front with me to somewhat act some things that I want to relay. For example, the situation regards a child being embarrassed of his mother. I asked one student to come in front and act as the mother as I act as the son. The class went on to that scenario until dismissal. But sill, there were gaps and lapses because this class really has a difficulty in the English language.

At the end of the class, I kept on thinking on how I can involve these students in the discussion. Of course, their level in the English language might be a factor why learning is not effective. Still, if they really want to learn, they have to do it amidst the difficulties. It was their attitude that contributes to the unproductive learning inside the classroom. Still, I have to think of other plans in order to make things upside down.

August 23,2018: JUST MANY THINGS

It was around quarter to 6:00 A.M. when my mentor knocked on the door. I opened it and let Fancy come in. August 23 and 24 were the days where the faculty were required to go to Phatthalung for a competition. Daily, Fancy would go to his school by riding with teacher Jup from Wiengsa School. Teacher Jup also has a daughter who goes to Fancy’s school. So after dropping them off at their respective school, we headed to Wiengsa School.

Since all of the faculty members went to Phatthalung, it was just me and teacher Praenapa. And again, Jiji gave me food. I do not know how to feel, actually. But I know that it would be rude not to accept the offer. After getting the snack, she made me read something from her phone. It simply said that “Thai students are not interested in studying. They are more interested in sports and activities. And we [they and I] are only a year apart. It will be difficult to teach.” I understand Jiji’s concern. I really do. But regardless of the students’ interest in learning, a teacher must still tend to his/her students’ academic needs. I told Jiji that I am well aware of the situation and I thanked her for it. After that, she went back to her classroom.

Before heading to class, teacher Prae told me that teacher Potjanat will be coming around 11:00 A.M. for a short interview. I simply nodded and smiled.

The first class was the 10:10 A.M. period. The class is 6 [also grade 12]. I can still remember that first time I taught this class. I had a difficult time teaching them because of their poor comprehension and skills in English. But now, I tried to make a method that would help me—Google Translate. I already asked permission from my mentor if I can make use of mobile devices for teaching. He said that is permissible because there is no perfect way of teaching. An educator needs to discover strategies and techniques to cater the differences of the students.

Back to the class, since the topic regards “Achievements and Regrets”, just like the class yesterday, I made them watch some inspirational videos. Same with this class, I was able to see some teary eyes. Most, if not all, of them were really paying attention. There was a clip that I showed to them that I was not able to make the previous class watch. I think it was this video that made the greatest impact to them. It was a video by a Westerner so it was in English. Fortunately, I was able to download the clip with a Thai subtitle. Though the subtitles are not reliable, the students were still able to grasp the content of it.

After the video viewing, I asked questions regarding it such as “How do you feel?” and “Would you have done the same?” In this class, there is one students who has a good English proficiency skill. At times, she would be my translator. But there would also be times when I would take out my mobile device to translate the question for them. Although they were having trouble answering, they still gave their good shot doing so.

20 minutes remaining, I gave their activity. It was to perform a 2-3 minute role play about “Achievements and Regrets”. I divided them into 3 groups. There were some who were discussing with each other while there were others that were just playing with their smartphones or just chatting with their seatmate. I simply let those things happened. I also thought that maybe they do not have enough time to prepare but I continued with the activity. Ten minutes remaining before time, I immediately asked the first group to perform, then the second group, and lastly, the third group. Their performances were not satisfying. It was actually MORE THAN SATISFYING despite the lack of time. Although there were minimal team effort that I observed, the performance was good given the conditions.

Sometimes, I underestimate my students in their English skills. That is one of the reason why I tend to limit my activities. Even though the activity is good or it serves a meaningful purpose for the lesson, it would be useless if the students themselves, the participants of the activity, would not be able to comprehend it. Of course, the teacher also has a role to play for the students’ understanding of the activity, but it is still largely dependent on the students.

So there, at least I am now having fun with this class even though are age are quite near. I respect this class because despite the age reference, I can still feel the student-teacher relationship and “gap”.

At 11:14 A.M., teacher Potjanat came into the office. He had recently been in Wat Thung Luang. He observed and interviewed one SEA teacher there, also a fellow Filipino. I was happy to see him, of course. So he asked me some questions that are from the evaluation sheet. He asked me the behavior of the students and I how I cope with it. I replied that they were very loud but fun to be with at the same time. It is really hard to keep a silent environment in the classroom. How to cope with it? I try to get along with them. I know that being angry or staying mad at them would not pave into an improvement. Another question are the difficulties of teaching here. Aside from language barrier is the age gap. Since my age is just probably a year ahead of some of my students, it is like they perceive me as also their classmate. No teacher-student gap. I tried answering the questions briefly but with details. I do not want to give long answers that would not be concerning the main question. After his 30 minute stay at the office, he left and went back to Wat Thung Luang. As for me, I went to have lunch.

The next class was the 1:00 P.M. period. If I enjoyed the previous class, I also enjoyed this class. When I entered the classroom, ready to teach the content on the book, they started yelling, “Teacher, play games! Play games!” Since I could not do otherwise, I thought of a simple game that would encourage them and the same time to review their lessons. The game was Message Relay. I told them the instructions. At first, I doubted that they may not understand the mechanics of the game. But I was wrong. They instantly knew the instructions. Some informed their classmates of how the game works in their own language. Not a few long minutes had passed when we started the game. The sentences used in the game was a request, a permission, and an offer since these were last meeting’s topic.

While playing the game, they were very loud. When I say very loud, they were really very loud. Some were already shouting at the top of their lungs. I know that they were already cheating. But at the same time, they were having fun. Who would not hate that? Then I noticed some students peeking, probably curious of the reason of the class’ wildness. So I asked the class to keep their voices down since there might be others that would be disturbed.

After the game that probably lasted around 15 minutes and consumed much of their energy, I used the sentences they relayed as a review for the past lesson. Fortunately, they were listening. If I would ask a question and nobody would want to recite, I would simply give them the pen. It is effective, to be honest. They can give answers. The problem was that they were just shy to voice out. They lack self-confidence. So rather than simply asking someone to stand and say or write their answers, just pointing out to them is already enough. Although others need more time to think of the right words to utter.

Before heading back home, we went to the first building. The building is probably the administration building. While waiting, Fancy asked me if wanted some “fire rice”. Okay, so what is this “fire rice”? I had been hearing this from my students for the past few days. They would say that “fire rice” is their favorite food. Or that I should also try to taste “fire rice”. I was really intrigued by this. So when Fancy asked me if I wanted some, I said that I wanted some. We went to one of the offices there in which I introduced myself. I took a seat. Just a couple of minutes, Fancy gave me a bowl of—wait for it—FRIED RICE.

At home. It was only Fancy and I. We went outside to eat. He told me that I would love their spicy fried chicken. Spicy fried chicken? That would be nice. It was only when I had a taste of that dish did I really say, “I LOVE IT!” I think food will be one of the many things I would miss here in Thailand. The spices and the delicacies that traverse in my mouth every time I would take a bite. It is just delicious. For me, it is like all food are delicious [though I am aware that not all, obviously].

PS. THE “FIRE RICE” WAS TRULY AROY MAK MAK.

P.P.S INDEED, MANY THINGS HAPPENED TODAY.

August 24,2018: POURING FRUSTRATIONS

Today, I woke up at around 5:30 A.M. I went to the bathroom to take a bath. Fancy woke up at 5:50 A.M. due to the sound of his alarm and went to his house to take a bath fifteen minutes later. At 7:00 P.M., teacher Jup picked us up from our place, dropped the children at their school, and headed to Wiengsa School.

Since teacher Prae gave me the key yesterday, I thought I would be the early bird but I saw the door already open. I entered and saw teacher Gift. I thought all teachers of the teachers were mandated to go to the competition. Anyway, I greeted her and went to my table.

I only have one class for today, the first period. The other classes were History so I was simply tasked to look after them. Today, let me just tackle some excerpts of the events and my thoughts on the first class.

I was scrolling through my Facebook account when I saw a post from my teacher in the Philippines. They were doing a warm up song. It is Funga Alafia, a Nigerian chant which is simply a greeting. We had been doing this in our class back in our university so it was not that hard to remember the action. I thought that this would be a nice warm up activity for them. To remind you, this class, amongst my other classes, is probably the least proficient in English. I think I already mentioned this one before. I do not want to be dropping off class sections here.

The lesson for today was just a continuation on the topic, “Achievements and Regrets”, last Wednesday. I planned to make them also do a role play which is the same activity as my class yesterday. They are in the same grade level. But I thought that it would be better if the activity is at the last part of the class.

The warm up activity was the Funga Alafia song. I thought that perhaps singing would be an energizer for them. The lyrics were just Funga Alafia Ashay Ashay and they will only repeat it four times. At first, I thought it might go well. It did not when I embedded the action. Seeing they were having a hard time, I told them to sit down. We proceeded in the next game. Yes. I asked Jiji once regarding the things the class would want to do. She said that games and activities would do.

The next game was Message Relay. I think I already did this game to one of my classes. We could have lasted until the 5th round until I saw most of the students not being interest anymore. We only lasted two rounds in which there were only two sentences. Luckily, one was an achievement and one was a regret. I tried explaining to them at first but they really cannot understand it. I just used my mobile devices for translation. I let one student read the translated text aloud so that her classmates can hear it. To my disappointment, no one was listening. One girl was even looking at me sharply. Maybe I am not doing my well to teach them? Nope. It is just they are not helping themselves to learn.

The role play that they should have had performed on that same day was moved next meeting. Not being unfair, but honestly, I do not want to teach this class. I remember my mentor saying that this class is really the laziest of them all. While I was discussing, the boys could not stop talking with each other. The girls at the back were just watching movies. The girls at the other column were simply sleeping. What should I do? Get angry and whip the ill-behaved students? In some of my classes, when there are some that are not paying attention, I just naturally approach them or tap their shoulders, and they be quiet. But this class? They would not stop. They will continue the moment I am now in front. If I would ask them a question, they cannot answer. Why? Because they have no interest in learning.

Yes, I am pouring my frustrations here. Not everything that is happening in the classroom should be blamed on the teacher especially if it regards the students’ low performance level. Even teachers get tired too. Tired of exerting too much effort for their students to learn anything from their subject. Teachers have an obligation of enlightening their students’ mind and heart. It saddens me when I see my students not learning anything. And I know that other teachers also feel this way. That it is our responsibility to make each student reach the pinnacle of success in his/her distinct lives. Because if that does not happen, it deeply disheartens us.

Unfortunately, everything is still dependent on the students’ decision—whether to do it or do nothing.